Spinning Thoughts & Tales ~

…another draining visit

Mom is not doing very well.  Our visits-she is cranky, depressed and needs to drink more fluids.  I am tired, trying to keep her awake, drinking and eating drains my energy.  Today’s visit, Mama was sitting at a table with three small juice cups lined up like soldiers in front of her.  Care workers tried unsuccessfully to get the juice into her.  She was sleeping in her chair. 

 Now, we have been here before.  Afternoon visits coincide with afternoon naps, after all what else does she have to do, very few visitors, very few things she is capable of doing, very few activities she can or will attend.  What is a body to do? 

Life is so boring and lonely for Mom.  The policy of the care home is not to force a resident to do anything he/she does not want to do.  What can Mama do?  Not much.  Pretty much confined to the wheelchair or the bed.  Sundays are for the church service in the afternoon and visitors, special activities are not available, not that Mom would take part.  And, there you have it, stuck on a hamster wheel, spinning in an endless cycle of boring existence. 

Mom fights back with the only options available to her…frustration, anger and refusing to do anything ‘they’ want including eating and drinking.  So…she says, “no” or “shut up” even to her favourite aides or goes to sleep.  Depression.  Anger.  She is still here.  And “why doesn’t God take me home?”   All of which I cannot do much about.  Mom slept through her hair styling, almost half of her favourite book on tape,  finally drank her juice after much cajoling and sticking a straw in her mouth, woke up enough to eat half the soup, all the rice pudding and two pieces of chocolate.  Fun times.  We did listen to the rest of the book before I left.  Bedtime was thirty minutes away.  Yes, fun times were had by all. 

A bit melancholy myself tonight.  Aging and dying is a very long process for some people.  Long term care homes, I do NOT want to ever live in one.  Do not want to go there. No photo, too tired.  Hope your day was better.  Stay warm, loved and laugh.  Laughter is good.  Repeat after me, ” laughter is good, it is medicine to my soul.”  

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