…what part is the good…
“Is it Friday?”
“No, Mom, it is Easter Sunday.”
“Oh, well, that’s a fine thing to do on Easter Sunday.” Mom said. “That’s sarcasm, you know!”
Mama’s body was not cooperating Sunday afternoon. Tucked into bed by 3:30 pm in the afternoon when I arrived. Her hand on the nurse call button, in case of another emergency. Poor mama, the body is betraying her bit by bit. Enough said. We talked about how long life is when the body fades, listened to hymns and worship music before she nodded off into dreamland. Music soothes mother’s troubles.
Mother has endured more indignities than she ever imagined. She did think she would be gone by now. “Why am I still here?” an ever-present question, of which, I have no answer. Enquiring minds want to know.
“Do I still have something to fulfill?” “I guess God isn’t ready for me yet?” “I guess I have something else I have to learn before I can go home.” “I don’t want to go.” “I want to die in my sleep.” “Life is so boring.” “I can’t understand, why I am still here.”
My questions are “why does mom have to endure such indignities” and “hasn’t she suffered enough pain and loss, isn’t it time?” I think God can take it, all the questions, the anger and the frustration at health and money issues. Is there some life lesson we are missing here? All I can do is make sure she is well-cared for, has tasty bites to eat, clean laundry, fresh flowers, music and books to listen to. Tomorrow morning is my meeting with the powers that be. Perhaps, that is our life lesson, to learn patience.
Stay warm and loved.