Spinning Thoughts & Tales ~

it’s the ugly, again

Life was very busy in September.  It is the start of a new school year, be it kindergarten or return to the hallowed halls of universities.  Busy month.   Yeah, I know it is the beginning of October, by the way, how did that happen?   For mama, September, just another boring month in which time drags.  Add fear to the mix and you have ugly. 

Returning to the scene of the crime, yes, in my world, long-term care is a crime.  September has been a month of vigilance, boredom and laughter.   Two months have passed since the arrival of the “violent” next door neighbour.  It was fairly uneventful until my visit on September 18.  Mom’s door was shut and the STOP sign was velcro-ed across the entrance.  The neighbour was sitting in his wheelchair outside his door, head down and appeared to be dozing.  I’m setting up the scene for you.

Insert the sound of velcro ripping.   A loud sound.

Neighbour man was suddenly awake, cursing and yelling at me because I ripped the sign open and walked into mom’s room.  I calmly spoke to the man stating I was visiting my mother, pressed the sign back into place and shut the door.  It was not a quiet afternoon visit. 

He proceeded to rant, rave, and curse in his homeland language.  He ripped the sign off.  He pounded on the door.  He yelled.  He threw things.  The support staff tried to calm the man.  The RN mixed a concoction of meds to stop the rage.  Sad, isn’t it.  The only way to stop the rage was to medicate the man.  The medication took a while to take effect.  It was a noisy 40 minutes and terrifying for mother, the staff, the residents, and the visitors before he was out. 

Mom and I talked about the poor man while I curled her hair.  She is afraid of him.  It is scary for her, especially being blind in the right eye and 90% blind in the left eye.  Often, mother does not see me until I am in front and talking to her.  Imagine for a moment what it must be like when violence erupts in her shadowy world. 

Adding to the mix, mama’s favoured grandson came to visit during the tirade.  Mama was very happy.  Larry brought a frothy fruit drink  and laughter. 

Unfortunately, I was the catalyst which started the episode.  I came to visit my own mother and spend time reading, talking and, yes, laughing.  It is the ugly part of long-term care.  It is the sad part.  It is the truth. 

This weekend, Geri and I were talking about how as a person ages, their personality traits are amplified.  Rage.  Fear.  Dis-trust.  Anger. Manipulation.  Critical.  Temper tantrums.  ALL  AMPLIFIED!   A future of long-term care looks bleak,  people.

Now, that you are all depressed, head over to Lucy’s for a cartoon.  It’s about happiness and love.

Stay safe and loved.


Comments on: "it’s the ugly, again" (4)

  1. So sorry, honey. I wish you really did have a magic wand, or a fairy godmother to fix this for you.

  2. So sorry for you and your mom. My grandmother was in a nursing home for a short while, but she was the loud, sometimes violent one — Alzheimer’s can do terrible things. They really need to learn to separate them from the peaceful patients who are still in their right minds. I mean, would it really be that hard to move the beds? They are still on wheels, right? My thoughts are with you both.

    • He is in the private room next door to my mother’s private room. We were told his family knows and to medicate him to keep him calm. Sad, very sad.

      On the other hand, Mom is doing well and can be quite humorous about any topic lately. This is good. Thankfully, Mom does not have Alzheimers. She is basically blind and is wheel chair bound. She just stopped walking four years ago to keep herself safe from falling. She is bored.

      Thanks, I appreciate your thoughts.

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