Spinning Thoughts & Tales ~

The long, long journey…

February is the shortest month.  It goes by quickly.  Weather wise, it is the longest month of the year.  Mom’s life is like February, a long, winter journey.  Spring is not in the cards.  We are both tired, very tired.  If you stay with me, there is a wonderful puppy photo to lift our spirits…so, there is very little change, Mom does not eat or drink for days, then eats everything.   Did I mention we are both tired? So tired. 

We both wish death would come quickly.  Unfortunately, she has a very strong heart.  It must come from her wee Scot grandmother whom she loved very much.  I visit less often, mainly to get the laundry and do her hair.  Mom is very quiet.  I took Geri to see mom last week.  Geri thought she was ready.  It was a hard visit.  Geri was so glad Aunt Dot died quickly from an aneurism.  Me, too. 

I find I have compartmentalized my visits, shut the door and try not to think.  It is sad, very sad to watch such a strong, vibrant, very opinionated mama loose all her stuffing.  I do see some glimpses when her eyes twinkle and she smiles that wry smile.  I mourn for my mother even though she is right here.  Fran, I must give you a call for advice.

As promised, here he is; Marlowe.   He is a lovely puppy.  My heart melted and thought about having another dog.  Not yet.  We will, just not yet.  Marlowe loves the Big Guy.  I am not surprised.  Everyone loves the Big Guy.  Aleha said she finally got a puppy for her birthday.   I give you–Marlowe with a sad little face. He was just scolded for biting. Oh, he is cute.

“…I know, I shouldn’t bite”

It is tough being a puppy.  Everything is new and exciting.

You feel better now, don’t you.  I know I do.  Stay safe, warm, and very much-loved.


Comments on: "The long, long journey…" (11)

  1. In her last book, The Endless Forest, author Sara Donati gave her main character these last words:
    “I am not afraid of death. I greet it as anyone who
    has a long, satisfying day’s work behind them greets

    I have loved the stars too well to fear the night.”

    I’ll be thinking of you and your mother and wishing you strength while you’re traveling this very hard road.

    The puppy is gorgeous.

    • Thank you, Merry. Beautiful quote. I’m not familiar with Sara Donati. Will look for her book. UPDATE: She was at a writer’s conference a few years ago, I heard her speak. She was very good.

      Mom is not afraid of death now. She does question why is she still here.

      He really is a beautiful puppy. I’m weakening. Steve & Aleha would like it if we got one of his sisters, never had a female dog, we’ll see.

      • I have two females – Elvira and Rose. They’re a joy, and I think easier than the males we’ve had. I’ll put it this way. They’re much quicker on outdoor trips, since they don’t have a need to sniff every bush and shrub.

  2. Damn, these lessons are difficult and time consuming. Hmm, kind of like life actually. Warmest blessings to you, and Mama, on this journey.
    Puppy! Thanks for sharing the picture. ;)

    • Isn’t he beautiful! I am weakening. Don’t know if I can handle a baby/puppy and all the training. Will check the shelters, just in case there is a wonderful little doggie in need of us and would be a good match.

  3. Big love to you and gentleness and peace to you both. How dreadfully painful for you. Hugs

    • It is hard especially when I try to feed her and try to get fluids into her. You, stay well with sweet pea on board.

      Thanks so much.

  4. lilacacres said:

    You know I am right there with you Carol, sister of my heart……..I wish I could be there in person to help you – it is the waiting. It is always the waiting. I like that Sara Donati quote, about not being afraid of death.
    Hugs to you – and on the pup, he is SO cute!

    • Pam, I wish you were here too. You know only too well it is the waiting. I like the Sara Donati quote too. We are not afraid of death.

      Isn’t Marlowe soooo cute. We probably will get another one. Love to you.

  5. You know, I read these posts and I never know what to say, because everything I can think to say sounds like a platitude. So, I’ll just offer some vitual hugs and include you both in my prayers.

    And, yes, the puppy is beautiful.

    • Thanks, Dee. I appreciate your kind words, they are the best. Yesterday, my MIL fell, fractured her hip, operation on Monday. We go on holidays soon, will send photos.

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