Spinning Thoughts & Tales ~

Where’s the logic?

Astonished. Astounded. I failed to see the logic.  I was speechless, absolutely surprised at the request to bring in a psychiatrist for mother.  I know.  Without words. Mouth open for about two seconds.  My mother will not talk to a psychiatrist, be they woman or man, especially man.

Mother does not trust the medical staff.  Actually she doesn’t trust people.  Now, more than ever, she does not trust anyone, even me.  Mama is legally blind, but, she hears. A lot. The processing of what she hears may be off the wall, but, she does hear.  So, perhaps, I should not have stood in the doorway of her room questioning the nurse about the request and again, why.  Mother is on high alert.  On guard for anyone who will start asking questions.  She is refusing to talk, take her meds, drink or eat.  Some days she partakes.  Other days, nothing.

Traditionally, one sees a mental health professional to talk, to get to the underlying issues.  The doctor asks questions.  The patient answers.  She will not talk to “strangers” about her private life.   Five years ago, they tried.  Mother, in her wisdom and distrust never answered the questions and she is not going to now.  

I asked a lot of questions,  listened, argued, and finally agreed to the meeting after speaking to Mom’s GP.  One reason is to find out who made the diagnosis of dementia or Alzheimer’s.  What is her med history for the new doctor?  Are there other drugs available to bring about an improvement?  What are the side effects? What are the presenting symptoms now?  Do they have a new label?  A new diagnosis?  So…as we await the reports, I now see the logic in the request.  I have been able to fill the doctor in on mother’s history.  The doctor is a very compassionate woman.  I trust her. 

It is rather like a medical detective story:  the drugs, the diagnosis, which doctor said what, when did they say it, how did they arrive at their conclusions, what tests were given, and no, we are not going to have shock treatments.  Now, that was astounding.  Shock Treatments.  Five years ago,  a doctor felt shock treatments would bring about a change.  Right!  Beyond logic, giving shock treatments to a 90-year-old.  Were the treatments to be an experiment?  A “Let’s see what happens if shock treatments are administered to a 90-year-old woman.”  At 95, things are not improving.

As mother’s advocate, I’ve kept a record of all  prescribed drugs, the side effects, and any diagnosis.  I’ll have to get my thick file out.  I’ll be armed with facts and be listening and looking for the logic at the next meeting before making changes to mom’s care.


Comments on: "Where’s the logic?" (15)

  1. lilacacres said:

    Dear Carol,

    LIFE ! **Shaking my head once again **

    Onward we go………..

    Love to you, prayers sent, hoping for the best always!

    Pam – where the snow is gone, the lilac trees are showing green today :)


    I cannot imagine what their reasoning is but my unprofessional view is that your mama is suffering enough without finding herself under attack of questioning by a stranger. Give her an extra hug for me and know I’m thinking of you both.

  3. londonmabel said:

    Possibly when you’re 90 you just want to be left the eff alone!

  4. What the what? I don’t get it, either. And shock treatments? Who was the idiot that suggested that? Good gracious. I’m glad you at least have a woman you trust. Hugs to you and your mom.

  5. Yeah, this is simply more confusion to me. Know that we are here, sending you love and support. (Wow, you are amazing… seriously.)


  6. Pam- the lilacs are going to bloom? How great is that. Yes, we carry on.

    Diva- thanks, sweetie, here’s a hug back to you and tummy starts to settle!

    LondonMabel- yes, she is now 95 and wants to shut out the world.

    Delia- I know, where is the logic, perhaps the new doctor will recommend something to help not hinder.

    Julie- it tends to get confusing when they start talking new drugs. I have to research before I give a go ahead. Just cannot give carte blanche.

    • lilacacres said:

      Maybe on the lilacs Carol…….they leaf out. They bud out. There are long gorgeous stems of flowers just bursting to unfold. THEN IT FREEZES!! Then they turn black and hang there all year. Well, I do cut off the ones I can reach, but it is a continuous reminder of the killing freeze that year. Which has happened more years than they have bloomed….grr. In the scheme of things, not important. But I do love lilacs!

      So……they might bloom!

      Hugs to you


  7. Pam, I am a HUGE lilac fan. We bought two new (small, all we could afford) bushes last year, because (you may want to sit down for this part) our neighbors chopped down the one on our shared property line. I thought I would have a stroke when I found out. Am waiting now… for my new ones to pop.

    Carol, you need to tell us about the new door photo. ;)


    • Yes, Julie. I am composing a blog on my doors. So many doors, not enought months of the year. There is a lovely pumpkin coloured door for October. December’s may move to August. September’s door is very special, because…you know all women born in September must have a beautiful door, wait till you see it.

    • lilacacres said:

      Oh Julie,
      What a terrible shock for you! I know that pain! It didn’t happen with my lilacs……but with California poppies and lupine. Now I will have to blog about it…..too much thinking, too much to put here :) So glad you got to put in a few new ones. I know you will enjoy them!
      I love the look, the fragrance…..just wish there was “scent saving” function in cameras or something !!! that would be great, but I guess we would not use it much…….pardon me, do you mind if I take a photo scent of your new baby? Or perhaps the laundry drying in the sun?
      heehee, enjoy the day! Pam

  8. Have you ever seen the Saint Anne Chapel in Normandy? Or the Stow Church door? Those are some wonderful doors. They yew trees take them to another level.

    • No, I haven’t, but I would like to. Only been to Paris, would love to go to the Canadian war memorial in France and to Normandy and to Nice and to ….. lots of places. Maybe one day. Will google the doors. Yew trees, we have them on Vancouver Island. Now that is a tree.

      • lilacacres said:

        I meant to ask about the door as well :) Looking forward to that blog too :) Well, I always look forward to your blogs, no matter what you are writing about !

    • DELIA ~ that is an amazing llittle Chapel in a Yew Tree! Have you been there???

  9. Oh, don’t I wish! No. Unfortunately, I’m a computerized tourist. Someday…

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