Spinning Thoughts & Tales ~

a perfect scenario…

It’s a celebration day, Happy Mother’s Day to mamas and the soon to be mamas.  Hope your day will be wonderful.   There are 22 babies  to be born and have been born this year so far.  It appears to be the year of the baby.

I had a very surprizing visit with my mother on Thursday morning.  The scene rolls around in my head again and again.  It would be the perfect scenario if…

If it had been mom’s last moments before she passed, it would have been perfect.  As you know mom has a type of dementia which has gotten worse since December.  She vacilates between knowing me and not knowing me, being angry and closing her eyes signifying I am not in the room.

Thursday morning she was dozing in her bed when I brought the clean clothes back.  We had the “You are not my mother” routine.  Then she dozed off again.  I did my thing.  A few moments later, something startled her awake.  Fear rolled off her.  I put my hand on her hands and I rested my cheek on her forehead, telling her it is okay, it’s only me, it’s alright.  She settled back into sleep again. 

When I was ready to go, I held her hands again, and told her, ” I’m going to go home now and I love you.”  Mom woke up, looked me in the eyes and said, “I love you too.”  Then she closed her eyes and dozed off.

If that scene could play out when it is mom’s turn to pass on, I would be the happiest daughter in that moment.  I WANT that perfect scenario again as she passes into her rest.  I WANT IT! 

I am expecting mom to pass this year.  When she was 90, she said she would die when she was 95.  She is 95.  Mother has always been quite prophetic in declaring things.  So, whenever that moment will be, I am expecting it to be the perfect scenario of recognition and love.

Stay safe, warm, deeply loved.

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Comments on: "a perfect scenario…" (8)

  1. How awful for you. I mean, I know it is wonderful to see that she is in there somewhere loving you still and recognizing you but then to know she is trapped…Big love and wishing a peaceful release.

  2. lilacacres said:

    **Sigh** Oh Carol!
    At least there are times/flashes of recognition. I wish this were not happening to you both. Lots of love to you from far away, on this bittersweet day. You are right, the year of the baby! Lots of ’em around and more coming down the pike!
    Have a Happy Mother’s Day
    Pam

  3. Hope your day was a happy one, and yeah, I want that for you too. Do You HEAR me Universe?! We WANT this for Carol and Mama!!!
    (There, that should do it.)
    Julie

  4. It’s true, we want this for you, too. But I’m so happy and thankful that you got it this time. That, when her awareness works in your favor, she’s telling you how she really feels. Still, I hope you get the one you wish for.

  5. I’m so glad you got the moment, even if the timing was not perfect. Happy Mother’s Day to my fabulous Fairy GodMother.

  6. londonmabel said:

    My friend was telling me that she’s glad no one recorded the dance number she and her bridal party performed at their wedding–she told her husband: “There’s no evidence that we weren’t perfect.” So I say… there’s no evidence that this wasn’t your perfect Last Moment! Hold onto it. When the end does come, if you don’t get this kind of closure again, repost it. We’ll all support you in the beautiful and comforting myth. Best wishes. :-)

  7. Thank you everyone for your caring words. Busy, busy, busy week. Visited Mom on Sunday, Mother’s Day. She KNEW me, thanked me for the cards, we talked for about 10 minutes, then she told me to go home as she was tired. She was sorry she had to tell me to go home, then told me she loved me. That was good. Every day she wakes up, she is upset she is still alive, thus causing more anger and more depression.

    So….we had tweaked the meds, meaning the Doctors, consulting with me. It appears the change is causing her to “wake” up…in a sense. More alert. So we will see what happens in the coming weeks. Now, if ONLY I could get the family to go visit.

    Thank you again, it means a great deal to me.

  8. londonmabel said:

    Thanks for the update.

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