Spinning Thoughts & Tales ~

The end …

For seven years my mother has braved a battle of deteriorating health, sometimes with fierce anger, sometimes with silence, sometimes with humor and laughter.  It has been a long road with many dips and plateaus both physically and mentally.  Often I would come home drained and angry.  I’ve mourned the loss of who she was, trying to reconcile the strong image with the frail woman she became.  The  best description is a roller coaster ride of responsibility and decisions when caring for someone in long-term care.  The end came on Wednesday, April 11th.  I was expecting it.  When the phone call came, it was still a shock.  My dear mama passed into the presence of God in her sleep after our morning visit.  It was exactly how  she wanted to go; in her sleep.  I am thankful the battle is over.  Mama lived a long life, 96 years and 117 days.  She outlived her whole immediate family, parents, three brothers, her beloved sister, all the in-laws, two husbands, and a daughter.  Born during the time of the Great War, mother was a witness to much of what we take for granted.  She did know the internet was a fount of information, often telling me to “look it up on the internet.”

The last few months were so bittersweet.  Thankfully she knew who I was, always ending our visits with an “I love you, thank you for coming” when I kissed her forehead.

Mother was so straight-laced, very black and white in her thinking and would come out with little nuggets of wisdom or wry wit when I least expected it.

I leave you with a little story ~

Every Sunday before mother was admitted to long-term care, I would take her to church.  One spring  morning on the drive home she asked me who was the man sitting beside her.  I had never seen the man before and said,  “I don’t know…why? ”  After a little hum, she said, “He was a fine figure of a man.”    At 89, she still appreciated the look of a well-dressed man.  I laughed out loud, telling her she wasn’t as blind as the doctors were telling us, at which she smiled that little quirky half-smile.


Comments on: "The end …" (20)

  1. Lovely story. I am happy to have met her. So much of how people we come to admire and love is so obvious when we meet their parent (s) You are such a strong brave loving caring soul, and I am proud to call you my friend. Love to you! Pam

  2. robenagrant said:

    How lovely that you can share this memory of your mother with us. She sounds like someone I would have liked very much. Big hugs to you at this time, and I hope you can find some solace in your memories.

    • Thanks, Robena. I am actually doing quite well. She was a lovely lady and will be very much missed. It is a bit strange not going to the residence. We shared so many memories last Sunday. It brought joy instead of sorrow and that is a very good thing.

  3. Thank you for sharing those memories and the story of her end. Going quietly in your sleep is a good way to go. I’m glad you were able to help her out even while she was in the hospital and that you had a good relationship. That matters the most in memories later on.

    Take care. Big hugs to you.

    • Yes, it does Skye. We should all go quietly in our sleep. So many memories were shared. We had such a good laugh. Laughter really does heal.

  4. I’m so sorry for your loss. May your dear mother rest in peace.

  5. PatchworkBetty said:

    I’m very sorry to hear of your loss, but happy your Mama got to go the way she wished.

  6. Stephanie said:

    oh my. FGBVs

  7. I’m so sorry, Carol. My prayers are with you. Hugs, sweetie.

    • I thank you Delia, for your prayers. We are all doing well. She had a long life and if I live that long. oh boy, I need to be healthy now.

  8. I’m so sorry about your mother. It sounds as though she lived a long, adventurous life full of love, family, and friends. You were blessed to have her for so long. I hope that you are able to grieve but remember all the good times. Many hugs to you.

  9. We’ve already said ours, but I wanted to chime in here too.
    Big love, to all the fam.

    • Thanks again, Julie. We are all doing well. I had a whack of flowers delivered. My fave is an all white and green with lilies, a few roses, snap dragons and double tulips. It is still in full bloom.

  10. 96! Oh she did have a good long life then. Well a little harder at the end, for everyone, but I’m so glad there was some lucidity and love at the very end.

    When my great-grandmother died in her 90s, her funeral wasn’t really sad. It felt more like a family reunion, with so many branches of the family all there together. It felt like a loving occasion. A celebration of her life and family.

    Sending you prayers and best wishes. :-)

    • It was a family reunion of sorts with lots of laughter and very few tears. The grandchildren did most of the service. So very proud of them all. My eldest son was great at MC-ing the celebration. Great stories, some shocking, some very funny. A few tears at the graveside. It is the life circle isn’t. Thanks for your caring thoughts.

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